Always.

Depression is so real.
About the realest thing I’ve ever known.
But then again I haven’t known much.

I thought I had forever to find what I want.
Always then always when, never realizing it was always now.

It was always now.
Always…now

When all the straight to voicemails sound alone
And all the UN replied to texts spell alone
And you even feel like you smell alone
Always lingering like an intrusive cologne

Always...lingering

The type of alone that crowds can’t cure.
When you cry until you laugh and cry all over again.

A painted smile for a painted face
Caked layers of denial and makeup makeup the morning routine
Because maybe if I have enough make up I wont have to make up some story about how im good, or busy, or fine

Im always fine
Nothing more.

Always…fine

I need medicine for mediocrity or melancholy
Whichever comes first?

And I tell myself everyday I’ll stop doing this.
Always then always when, but it is always now

Always…now.